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I smiled, knowing what he was moving to do, but with both hands occupied with wine bottles, he pulled my long hair out of his way, then released the clasp of my halter strap and allowed my dress to fall down my body to the floor.I now stood before the group in my stockings and heels. He patted my butt and I gave an exaggerated flinch to show playfulness. I then moved around the group filling glasses with either white or red wine depending on their preference.With everyone’s glasses refilled, we led them down to the pool/fitness level of the house. There waiting for us was a large mat Chris and I procured for our martial arts training and my yoga. I decided it would also be good for being with the dogs. Chairs were lining three sides of the mat, which meant that nobody was more than six feet from where I would be in front of them.I noticed some curiosity and confusion on faces as they were directed to the chairs. I was sure my next moments would eliminate all that. I stood before them. I then mentioned that there is a more professional set of explanations by Dr. Anne Lawrence who also went through transitioning. These stories, I told him, would explain part of what it means to be what we are.I was reminded of and first read other stories and essays while doing research for this essay. They include "Blister" by Alysa Amene Palin, "All I want for Christmas," by Alexandria Phaite, "I know" by Kim EM, and "Peter" by Samantha Jay. I know that even my list in the notes below is only a small sampling."If there was a cure," I said. "I would not want the one that I would be happily male. I'd want one that would make me female, completely, including the risk of pregnancy. All I really want is to be accepted as a 'normal' woman."One of the fantasies for many men is to have a harem of extremely beautiful women, each one better looking than the next, and to have a different one of those women in his bed every night. It is not my fantasy. The only part of that fantasy that I.
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